After following Mascot Mania on MiLB (congratulations Orbit!), it was time to give attention to some great mascots that did not make the Sweet 16…or 64…or were ever even considered.
They’re like the Michael Bay movies of mascots. We might love them, but they’re never going to win an Oscar.
Today, we’re taking a trip to the New York – Penn League. The New York – Penn League is a minor league baseball league, operating in the northeastern United States. It is classified as a “Short-Season A” league; its season starts in June (which is probably why none of its mascots made “Mascot Mania”).
The New York – Penn League (NYPL) goes into action after major-league teams have signed their amateur draft picks to professional contracts. The season concludes in early September.
The league is divided into the McNamara Division, the Pinckney Division and the Stedler Division. Currently, the league includes teams in seven different states. In addition to New York and Pennsylvania, from which the league draws its name, the NYPL also has clubs in Maryland, Massachusetts, Ohio, Vermont and Connecticut.
Today, we are focusing on the uncontested MVPs of the Staten Island Yankees year after year. They are described as tall, goofy, silly and unpredictable. They are hooved and they know it.
Scooter the Holy Cow and Red are the Staten Island Yankees’ cow-sibling extraordinaires…extraordinaire…whatever. They have been entertaining Staten Island Yankees fans night after night for years. Running the bases, wrestling one another and getting a little misty eyed when you eat a hamburger in front of them (after all, that was one their cousins), Scooter and Red are the heart and soul of the Staten Island Yankees.
Scooter the Holy Cow debuted for the Staten Island Yankees when the franchise relocated from Watertown, NY in 1999. Scooter’s brother, Red, debuted in the summer of 2003. (He was a stand-in for the then injured Scooter.)  Riddle me this though…wasn’t there a third cow?  Where did Huck go?
Oh my god! What’s in that hamburger?!
Scooter stands in at whopping 9 feet tall. Take that Cal Ripken, Jr.! If it wasn’t for his zaftig figure, Scooter could have easily had a career in the NBA.  Frankly, the way the Knicks are going this year, he still might get signed. For those of you who don’t know, Scooter’s a local bovine. He resides in his barn in Staten Island.
Wasn’t it by the Auntie Anne’s in the Staten Island Mall? Doesn’t he work at Chick-fil-A in the off-season?
Scooter’s hobbies include grazing. I’m on Weight Watchers. Whose doesn’t?
Scooter’s best friend was, and always will be Phil Rizzuto of course. Well, whom were you expecting? Mike Pagliarulo?
Red, Scooter’s little brother, comes in a full foot taller than Scooter. He’s 10 feet tall. Forget the NBA, I want him to wash my windows. He also has a stable next to Scooter, which I am still convinced is located at the Staten Island Mall. Chick-fil-A is always hiring.
Red has some extensive hobbies, including eating, barbeque and of course…eating. He’s the team’s official taste tester. I applied twice for that job.
A Masters degree from Rutgers University isn’t what it used to be.
Most interestingly, like R.A. Dickey of the New York Mets, Red is an unconventional hurler.
He throws hot dogs.
