Place your bets guys! Tell me I’m wrong!
After Mr. Met was named the best mascot in sports last month, it was only natural to keep celebrating all that is furry, fabulous and most likely 4-fingered in baseball. MiLB.com introduced Mascot Mania. Finally, we, the fans, are getting the opportunity to determine Minor League Baseball’s top mascot.
I know what you’re thinking. Trish, what are the odds on Ike the Spike? What is the Vegas spread? Don’t fret. I have taken the time to handicap the Elite Eight. Voting for the Final Four begins tomorrow. Here are my predictions (all written on Monday night):
Ok. Well I need something to do when “American Idol” is on hiatus.
1. Gnate the Gnat of the Savannah Sand Gnats (New York Mets Affiliate):
Come on guys! The franchise that brought you the most beloved mascot in professional sports can’t go wrong with Gnate the Gnat. As unsavory as gnats might normally be, who wouldn’t love one that’s 6’3” and tweets? Gnuff said!
In the interest of full disclosure, I follow Gnate on twitter. I am though a responsible, impartial journalist. I pick Gnate to make the final four and eventually take the finals. (Someone get Dan Rather on the phone.)
Know your candidate:
My gname is Gnate T. Gnat. I come from a species of flying, biting, pesky insects often referred to as a sand gnat or gno see’em. Being six-foot-three and pleasantly plump, I’m pretty big for a gno see’em, especially since you can, in fact, see me. I turn eight this season, and since gnats usually live for about two weeks that makes me 15,392 years old in bug years. One might think I would gnot be popular among humans, but due to my hypnotizing good looks, devilish charm and swift dance moves I have won over fans both near and far. (Bio courtesy of MiLB)
2. Nutzy of the Richmond Flying Squirrels (San Francisco Giants affiliate):
What says awesome more than a freaking flying squirrel?! He skydives, enters to the theme from “Karate Kid” and looks a lot like Tim Lincecum. I expect him to make the finals but ultimately lose out to the tweeting gnat.
Know Your Candidate:
In a little over two years, I am confident no mascot has had more FUNN than me. I made my grand entrance to the unrivaled cinematic score from the 1984 masterpiece “Karate Kid” in February 2010. Since then I’ve made over 400 appearances in Central Virginia each year, twice scaled the SunTrust Building in downtown Richmond, skydived into The Diamond on Opening Day, traveled to St. Louis for the World Series, conducted the Richmond Symphony and even had a comic written about me. Just remember kids, you’re the best around and nothing is ever going to keep you down! (Bio courtesy of MiLB)
3. Orbit of the Albuquerque Isotopes (Los Angeles Dodgers Affiliate):
I expect Orbit to make the final four but his Cinderella story will end there. “The Simpsons” fans will and should vote for all things Isotopes. That will get him to the final four. Plus, doesn’t Orbit looks like Youppi from the Montreal Expos except… not as French Canadian?
Know Your Candidate:
I’m the big, furry orange one with the floppy ears, hefty belly and colorful antennae. My phenomenal dance moves are unrivaled in Minor League baseball. I bring more happiness to Isotopes Park than entire promotion calendars of any other baseball team. My charm and charisma alone are worth the price of admission! And although I love the ballpark, I love getting out into the community even more. I’m the best mascot in MiLB because I have no days off; I spend my free time making visits to friends in hospitals and schools around New Mexico! (Bio courtesy of MiLB)
4. Lou E. Loon of the Great Lakes Loons (Los Angeles Dodgers affiliate):
I know. Birds can be funny? I give you two words: Famous Chicken. The rest is history. Lou E. Loon is pretty awesome. Anyone who appreciates rejects from H.R. Pufnstuf will vote for this loony loon. However, I don’t see that being enough to drive him further than the Final Four.
Know Your Candidates:
Greetings! My Name is Lou E. Loon and I landed at Dow Diamond in 2006. The Great Lakes Loooooons are the best team in baseball and I get to watch every game from my perch atop the dugout. While Loons baseball is my first love, I also enjoy a good rain delay, when I can orchestrate elaborate water gun fights between the two teams. When I’m not shaking my feathers at Dow Diamond, I’m very active in the community, offering smiles and hugs to everyone I see. Go Loons! (Bio courtesy of MiLB)
Mascots I predict to not make it out of the Elite Eight:
5. Ike the Spike of the State College Spikes (Pittsburgh Pirates affiliate): First, as a Jersey Girl, I can’t support these former New Jersey Cardinals. Plus, isn’t a deer that dances to Justin Bieber a bit much?
6. Snappy D. Turtle of the Beloit Snappers (Minnesota Twins affiliate): He’s a turtle. What else can you say?
7. Spike of the Round Rock Express (Texas Rangers Affiliate): He’s a dog. Again, what else can you say? At least he has a job occupation (train conductor), more than I can say for that turtle.
8. Phinley of the Clearwater Thrashers (Philadelphia Phillies affiliate): Shame on the Phillies! I call foul! Phinley is a blatant rip off of the Atlantic League’s Camden Riversharks. Their mascot? You guessed it. A land shark named Finley, who predates Phinley by several seasons. Booo! Where’s Woodward and Bernstein to expose this?
The final four will be revealed tomorrow and voting continues through the 14th. The final two will be revealed on the 15th and voting will continue through the 18th. Join the fun and see if I’m right at:
